Productive morning....and a few things that are on my mind

This morning I got up and got all the bigger children fed. Then I nursed the baby and put her in her swing to take a nap, loaded the dishwasher, threw some laundry in and got on the elliptical for my workout. I planned on doing 5 miles but my sweet baby woke up right after I got on the thing. I did manage to get in 3.1 miles though. So I plan on doing another 3.1 miles before the day is over. This will give me more distance than I had originally planned on doing. I am thinking that if I break my workout up into two time slots then it will be easier for me to get my weekly distance in. And I will get more of a workout in the long run. I still want to be able to do longer stretches at a time as well. But getting a half hour workout in is much more doable for me most times just because Little Angel often wants me. It is just an easier chunk of time to steal away to exercise. So I will try doing it both ways. The full 5+ miles in an hour when I can squeeze it in and two 3.1 mile increments when I can't. We will see how this goes, but I think it sounds like a really good plan.

Last night I made the most AMAZING WRAPS EVER!! I will post the pictues of them on Friday for Foodie Friday. I can't believe how good they came out. It wasn't neccesarily the taste, which was good. It was the texture. The consistency. It was like the softest tortilla. In the past I have always had a hard time folding my wraps. They would be too stiff and crack, or they would be too rubbery and tough and hard to take a bite of. But these wraps were sooooooooooo good. They were soft and very pliable. They just melted in my mouth, but help up well with the filling and did not fall apart. I made a spread for them using an avocado, some apple cider vinegar, garlic powder, sea salt and cumin. I love cumin. I have never put apple cider vinegar in my avocado before. Not that I can remember anyways. But we were all out of lemons and limes so I had to improvise. Well the apple cider vinegar made it taste like mayonaise to me. (I used to love mayo) It was incredibly good! I spread my yummy avo stuff on my wrap, added some sprouts and cut up cherry tomatoes, rolled it up and indulged in some insanely delicious raw goodness. I seriously could not get over the taste and texture of it. My big helper came in the kitchen and saw me moaning over my supper and so I cut of an end and gave it to her (aren't I nice, I shared!) She was also blown away and couldn't believe that it was so good. Then I desperately tried to figure out what I added to it to make it. I had My Big Helper write it out for me while I dictated to her. I couldn't be bothered to take a break from eating to write it down. LOL! But I think I remembered it right. I am going to make it again later this week and then I will post the pictures and recipe on Friday.

Another thing on my mind is my impending trip this weekend. I keep going back and forth on whether I want to go or not. I would be going to Louisville to the National Dog Show to meet up with a dear friend of mine. I hardly ever get out to do anything, just me, no children. The last time I went anywhere alone was more than 3 years ago. And while I wouldn't totally be alone, I would have to take the baby for sure, it would almost be a just me get away. Almost. The problem is that I am afraid that I will go off plan with eating if I go away. And I really don't want to do that. I am doing so good. It has been over three months with no slip ups. I am down 30 pounds and while the scale (stupid, stupid scale) seems to be stuck right now I know that it will start going down again soon if I stay on track. And I scare myself, which may sound weird, but I know how I am. I am afraid that if I go off plan that I will fall into an abyss of bad food choices that I will struggle to climb out of for weeks. The week after this trip we are going to the zoo as a family and that would be another excuse to cheat and of course Easter is right around the corner and another excuse to cheat. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to cheat and do that to myself. And I know me well enough to know that it is a very, very real possibility if I go on this trip and cheat.

It occurs to me that I am writing my future here. I am writing my life. And right now the choices that I make will effect what is written in this blog next week and the week after. It can either be good or bad. Positive or negative. It is my choice.

So I am really struggling with my decision. While on the one hand I really want to go and spend some time with my friend, see some beautiful dogs, make some good contacts and get some time to myself (for the most part) I am also very scared of what will happen if I cheat and do not know if I can make the commitment to stay raw while I am gone. And I am not sure WHY I am having a hard time making that commitment. I have done raw on the road many times before. It is not hard really. Maybe it is the sneaky factor. Or the perceived freedom factor. Like I feel more free when I cheat, free to eat whatever I want and to heck with anything else. But that is a lie, because when I eat regular food I don't feel free to eat whatever I want, I feel trapped by my food choices and guilt over my failure. This is the same reason why I have such a hard time staying raw when Hubby is gone. Like a kid in a candy store with no one to tell me no. Not that Hubby ever tells me that I can or can not eat anything. He would never do that and if I called him right now and told him to bring me home a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup he would, no questions asked. So I don't know what my problem is. I'm strange I guess. LOL! :)

Anyways, that is my mind for now. I want to stay true to this raw path. I feel incredible. I love the food. Truly I do. Right now I am planning on going. I just have to firmly stand for my rawness while I am gone. My friend does not know that I eat raw. She wouldn't care of course, but it just adds yet another dimension. Sigh

Anyways........

I love raw! (Really, I do!)