An I Don't Know Title

Because I don't know what to title this blog post. I have never been good with titles. When I was in school I always hated having to come up with a title for my stories and things. I could never think of a good title. And I have no idea what to title todays post. So there you have it.

Yesterday was a busy day with lots of thinking going on with me. We are wrapping up this school year now and my thoughts are turning ahead to next years school plan. I am looking at possibly changing up our school structure and the curriculum that we use. And this terrifies me! I love the curriculum we are curently using. I have seen the children learn so much using it and it really is a super program. A program that I recommend to everyone who asks me for advice on homeschooling. So you may wonder why I would think of changing it up right? I am wondering that myself and the only thing that comes to mind is a Heavenly nudge. I never thought I would change curriculums again. I LOVE what we are using. But now here it is. I am looking into a different curriculum trying to figure out what is best for our family for the next year and it is really tough! I hate making big decisions because I always second guess myself. It is a very annoying trait that I have. And this decision does not just affect me but the children as well. What if they hate the new curriculum? What if we can not incorporate it into our life? What if they are not learning enough? I just dont know. I need to pray and think some more and hopefully I can find a family that uses this curriculum to talk with them. That would be the most helpful. You may be wondering why I would think of changing if I love what we are using so much. Well for starters it is super expensive. Really, really, really expensive. We are swinging it, but it is really hard and gets more and more expensive as the years go on and more children are added to the homeschool rollcall. Also the family is very discombobulated. Everyone is off doing their own thing for school. Everyone is seperate. I would like some sort of family unity and together time. And this new curriculum sounds like it could be wonderful. But a lot more work for me. I just dont know.

In other news I find it very interesting how some days I can eat on plan, never think of eating anything not raw, be totally turned off by all things SAD and float right through my days, and others days I want to eat potato salad (?) I don't get this. I don't know why I can resist bready chocolatey things one day and then struggle with something menial the next. Why are some days so much easier than others? Why do some days feel like drudgery and torture and other days like a walk in the park?

Also I wish that I had not entered this 11 week initiative. I don't do well with weekly weigh ins. I do much better when I am not so focused on the accursed scale. But I made a commitment to this thing so I need to finish it out. After that though NO MORE! Once a month is really best for me while I am losing. More than that and I get irritated and frustrated and my focus is constantly on the scale. Once a week turns into every day which tunrs into morning noon and night with me being frustrated and annoyed with the readings. Not to mention totally scale obsessed. So when this initiative is over that is all. Back to my monthly weigh ins and no more than that until I reach my goal weight! Ugh!!

Little Angel is wanting some attention so that is all for now. Our air conditioner is working again and the house is cool and pleasant to be in again. Yay for air conditioning! It makes a HUGE difference! It is so much nicer in here now. Ahhhhh!

I love raw.