Foodie Friday - Enchiladas! And Some Thoughts On This Journey

OK, first things first. Today is Foodie Friday so I want to share with you something that I made this week:

ENCHILADAS!

I had some leftover wraps from last week and thought that enchiladas sounded good. So I placed the wraps on the dehydrator tray.

I made a cashew cheese sauce to go in the enchiladas

I spread the cheese sauce over the wraps.

Then added marinated mushrooms and spinach

Rolled up the enchiladas

I spread some sauce made with sun dried tomatoes, tomatoes and herbds over the enchiladas and popped them into the Dehydrator for a few hours.

All done! Yummy.

Yes there were four enchiladas on my plate. I could only eat two though. The other two I put away and ate for lunch the next day. I actually think that they tasted better the next day after the flavors sat together for awhile. Or maybe I was just hungrier. LOL! They were very rich and two was plenty for me. I can't do a lot of rich savory foods. It is just too much for me. It is ok every now and then but usually I like simple things better. Like my salads.

OK, on to other things. I wanted to share a bit more information about yesterdays weigh in because my feelings were strange for me. I know that I sounded very dissapointed in my post, and I was. I was very dissapointed with such a low number. But here is the cool thing. I was not devastated. I was not distraught. I was not ready to throw in the towel and give it all up. I did not despair and that is a very, very good thing!!! And there is more to it too. Something happened yesterday. Something that would have been very dangerous and could have easily thrown me off track if I had been in a despairing frame of mind.

In the past when my weight loss has not gone the way that I thought it should go I have despaired. I have thought to myself, 'What is the point? Why am I doing this? It is not helping. I am not losing weight. I might as well just eat whatever. It doesn't even matter.' That is despair. Which would then be followed by a junk food eating binge that could last for weeks with many 'last suppers' of me eating the things that I feel I have been deprived of and would result in me gaining back a lot of weight, getting depressed and despairing again. It is a vicious cycle.

But I didn't feel like that yesterday. I was disappointed, yes. But I was not despairing. And this is HUGE for me. It is such a healthier way of thinking and I am happily surprised at myself. I realize that if I eat a bunch of junk, if I walk away from this healthy lifesytle that I have chosen for myself, it will not do me any good. It will only make matters worse. I am happy. I feel healthier. I have a lot of weight to loss, yes. But I AM getting there. Just a bit more slowly than I want. Eating junk food will not help me in my goal. It will only hurt me.

So here is what happened yesterday. Good news on all fronts.

First: I went digging into my storage containers of smaller clothing. It was very warm yesterday and I cleaned my closet out only to discover that everything I had to wear was heavy dark and wintery. I needed to get some spring/summer clothes out. I was really hoping that I had SOMETHING packed away in the too small for me clothes crate. (I have all kinds of smaller size clothing packed away just waiting for me to shrink back into them again) So I went digging and pulled out several articles of clothing. And guess what? They fit me! I can now fit into some clothes that I have not been able to wear in a while. Not everything in the crate fits obviously. Most are still too small. I have clothes in there that fit me when I weighed 137. So that just gives me something to shoot for. But I am happy that I have "new" clothes to wear now and it is good to know that even though the scale is not moving as fast as I would like I am making progress. Yay!

Second: We went for a walk to go and meet our neighbors. They are very nice and we had a good visit. When we got back we had a package in the mail from my Mom. A little background info: My mom lives in California. We are very close and I love her very much. We have always had a special relationship. We talk all the time. I have not seen her for almost 5 years though. It is very sad for me and my children. We all miss her terribly. So we got a package from her. I took it inside and opened it up. Oh no!! She sent us homemade chocolate chip cookies. My favorite kind of cookies. Cookies made by my Mom. Home. My Mom, who I have not seen in so long and miss so much. Cookies. Mom. Home. Eating those cookies would have been so easy to do. Like the next best thing to seeing her in person. If I had been in a despairing frame of mind I would have eaten them. Even in my good frame of mind wearin clothes that used to be too small for me the temptation was very strong. But I didn't have any. That is a huge victory for me! Because the cookies would have been just the beginning. A slippery slide that I don't want to go down. So a victory for me!

Well, I guess I have gabbed on enough now.

I love raw!