A Few Interesting Observations

Ok, so confession time. I cheated for Christmas. It was a planned cheat but it lasted longer than it was suppossed to because I started the cheat earlier than I was orginally going to. There were good and bad things that went along with it. It was nice to just eat whatever and not have to think about it. It was nice to taste the food that I was cooking for my family and nice to decorate cookies with the children and lick my fingers while doing it.

Several bad things occured while eating SAD. It went more like a week and a half long eating fest. Like a never ending all you can eat buffet. In the beginning I was making sure to get my daily green smoothie in eery day and that helped a bit. But then I stopped doing even that little bit and I started to really feel bad. I noticed that I was getting out of breath going up the stairs again which had not happened in a long time. I also began to have a hard time using the bathroom, it became really painful. I have come to realize that this is what is "normal" for me when I eat SAD. I feel and look fat old and miserable. In the past I have stated that I want to be normal and not be such an extremist when it comes to raw food. Well I have realized that this is normal and I don't want to be this kind of normal. I want so much more. I want raw. I feel so great when I eat raw. I just need to work through some of the emotional stuff involved with raw food and SAD food.

In the 1 1/2 weeks that I ate SAD I gained 17 pounds. Yes, you read that right, 17 pounds. That is crazy to me. If you add in the fact that I was losing 1 to 1 1/2 pounds a week that puts the total amount of weight that I am up at right around 20 pounds, as I could have lost 3 additional pounds in that 2 week period. That is very annoying. I have decided that I do not want to weigh myself every week anymore either. Once a month is good for me. I don't want to just focus on weight loss either although that is a very obvious and important goal for me. I need to go back through my raw book and reread all the reserach and data about raw foor versus cooked foods in regards to health. I remember when I first went raw I was reading all the time. The mere thought of eating SAD made me sick. I wanted nothing ot do with it. I need to be at that place again and be able to see SAD food for what it really is.

So looking forward now and not looking back. I don't want to beat myself up about the last couple weeks. That will not do me any good and could send me into a tailspin of self destruction. I don't want that!! So I started my day today with some carrot/apple juice and then had a green smoothie with bananas, bluberries and spinach for lunch. Forward, forward! I will weigh in on Jan 1st and then again on the beginning of every month. I want to point out too that I am proud of myself for not just saying forget it and waiting until the first of the year to start fresh. Yay for me!

Info for today:
carrot/apple juice for breakfast
green smoothie with blueberries, bananas and spinach for lunch
I will probably have a large green salad for supper

exercise:
20 min onthe elliptical